Empezar = to begin, to start

(So this blog post is a week old. Bear with me; I’m putting up a new one soon.)

Friday (Oct. 29) was the big day. We all put on our finest, and headed into Guate to the Ambassador’s house to officially swear-in as Peace Corps volunteers and employees of the United States of America. The part you actually say aloud is actually pretty cool, and you basically affirm that you will protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America. No pressure or anything. It was a fairly quick ceremony, and at the end you could feel the happiness spread through the new volunteers. We were ready to begin.

It’s easy to forget that when we signed up for the Peace Corps, we were signing up for 27 months, not just two years. And these 3 extra months have been something completely different from what I imagined when I thought of Peace Corps. Training was……exhausting. I didn’t stop to think during training about whether or not I was doing something difficult, or if I enjoyed what my days were like. It quickly just became what my life was. But my god, I’m glad it’s over. I’ve realized now that although I completely love what I’m doing, and I’m overwhelmingly honored to be here, I also unfortunately have had some problems with Peace Corps admin. They don’t seem to think my personality fits here, or that I will become a security risk, or some other vague “you’re just too much of a square peg for this round hole” type of argument. I still don’t understand why I have a huge red flag hanging over my head, but I do know I will work twice as hard to prove to them that there isn’t one type of person that can excel in Peace Corps or in Guatemala.

So I finally start my two years. To be honest, in some ways it’s the countdown clock that has started to tick. That makes this seem like a chore, and something I’m counting down until it’s over, but no matter how happy I am to be here, there will always be that sense of a time limit. Some days I’m sure I will be thinking “thank god, only 15 months left” and other days will be “how can I possibly only have 15 months left??” Either way, it feels good to be walking the streets of the town I will call home for the next few years. I’m excited to get to know these people and be part of their lives.

Starting my service also has me thinking about my role here in Guatemala. We have been trained to think that we are some integral agents of change, and that what we will do will impact someone every day. I have brought this up to others in my training group before, and I know that it’s offensive to some, but part of me just feels like a farmer. The goals of my program are to start 15 family gardens, 3 school gardens, and talk about the importance of nutrition and proper chicken care. After I leave, the gardens could be abandoned, the kids could stop caring about vegetables, the people could go back to eating what’s easiest, and the chicken coups could fall into disarray. What’s my impact? Because the physical, tangible goals of my project have the possibility of being short-term, I want to focus more on my people interactions, and hopefully finding a finding a passion in myself that I can share and fuel in others.